10 Rules of F**G Around by Vicky Arora

Author:Vicky Arora [Arora, Vicky]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mobilism
Publisher: Srishti Publishers & Distributors
Published: 2015-04-02T00:00:00+00:00

The morning came too early, as mornings always seem to. I got off the bed and slowly made my way to the bathroom. I didn’t want to wake her up. The only reason I usually got out of bed in the morning was to pee. If it weren’t for that, I’d probably never leave my bed.

Can you imagine a world where you never had to go to the bathroom? You could just stay in bed all the time. Awesomeness.

After leaving the bathroom and feeling much better, I quietly slid out of her room, hopped into an autorickshaw and went to my apartment.

I reached home, got ready and went to college. I walked into economics class and found my seat in the back. Luckily, it was vacant this time. The professor walked in, set his bag down and yelled, “What is the law of diminishing marginal utility?”

Everyone was startled. Then they all lowered their heads, opened their notebooks, and pretended to look like they really cared about what marginal utility was. No one looked at him or at anyone else. I followed suit, opening my notebook so I wouldn’t stand out among the class. Standing out was a sure-shot way to get called on.

The prof proudly surveyed the class. “What is the law of diminishing marginal utility?” he asked again.

One nerd raised his hand and proudly stood up. “Law of diminishing marginal utility means that the first unit of consumption of a good or service yields more utility than the second and subsequent units, with a continuing reduction for greater amounts. For example, if I drink one cup of tea, I will like it, but I won’t enjoy the next cup as much as I enjoyed the first one and so on. The tenth cup would really give me no enjoyment.”

“Well done,” said the professor with gleaming eyes.

I thought about how much money my parents paid for me to take all these classes I didn’t need. I already knew that this law of marginal utility was not true. I have one glass of beer, then I want to have another and then another. The enjoyment keeps increasing. I have many more examples to prove my logic. I sleep with one girl, I enjoy it; I sleep with another I enjoy it more and so on.

Now that’s why this is a crap law of marginal fuck-tility! So as usual, I found myself wasting another hour of my life listening to the opinions of guys who were like…ten thousand years old, telling me wrong laws which had no meaning in real life.

The class finished and I walked over to the cafeteria for lunch and found Prerna waiting for me where she always waited for me. I was a little surprised. I gave it a fifty-fifty chance whether she would be there or not as she knew last night I had left her for the drunken girl Shruti, or Aditi or whatever her name was.

“Hey,” she said.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“Nothing. So?”

“So what?”

I loved playing that game.

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